Archive for Uncategorized – Page 49

Beirut to Jerusalem…

Fifty-one years ago, this week, I was in East Jerusalem surrounded by the past, confronting the present, and trying to imagine the future, but I was also energized to be in the place where King David reigned, Mohammed walked, and Christ died.

On Christmas Eve, at an Episcopal Mass in Seattle, I had difficulty focusing on the sermon and though the subject matter was mainstream – fake “post-truth” news and the birth of Christ – my mind was in that earlier time and place. As the Bishop spoke I thought about the Holy Land as crucible, how it was 51 years ago, how it is now, and what the differences mean to all of us. read more

The Perfect Latte…

urth-cafe

“When you aim for perfection you discover it’s a moving target.”

Geoffrey Fisher – Archbishop of Canterbury (1945-1961)

There are many strictures and cautionary tales about the pursuit of perfection and though the target may be elusive sometimes it’s all about the chase.

The Surviving Seattle blog began in the fall of 2012 as an antidote to the weather I hate in the city I love. I was looking for strategies to mitigate against the gray overcast, constant rain, and penetrating cold. I love writing this column and for the most part it’s kept the weather from defeating my optimism. I’ve written about films and food, books and bikes, art and architecture – even politics – but I’ve barely touched on the thing that gets me up and ready to open the front door and face the gloom. What is it?  What keeps me charged up, optimistic, and hopeful? Of course, it’s COFFEE and my quest for the perfect cup. read more

Remembering a Friend…

Often, as the year draws to a close, my thoughts return to friends who departed the planet earlier than they should have. Those memories remind me that we never achieved a natural closure – that their premature deaths inflicted wounds that are slow to heal.

Gary Gibson Stoecker is one of those friends. Gary and I were young Pan Am pilots when we met in 1972. We both lived in Mill Valley, flew out of San Francisco, and our lives continued to parallel each other as we moved on to Ketchum Idaho in 1973 and Berlin in the late ’70’s. read more

Urn Baby Earn… Planning Ahead

funeral-director

Nora Ephron is famous for saying, “Everything is copy.” She never failed to amuse as she told stories from her own life. Oh, how I wanted a direct channel to her off center view of the world yesterday. It was one of a kind.

On a dreary late fall Seattle day the cold, wet, gray weather seemed just right as M and I headed into the city to prepay our own cremation expenses. Macabre?  Sure, but the responsible adult living somewhere deep within me told me it would be smart to take care of business, clean up the mess, tie up loose ends, and make it easy for the kids. Nevertheless, all the way to the destination I kept thinking it was perfect material for a Nora Ephron-like piece. The woman who wrote “I Feel Bad About My Neck” would surely find plenty to work with in prepaying for her own cremation.

When you’re closer to the end than the beginning it’s time to take inventory, and though it is that time and the smart thing to do there’s still something creepy about tinkering around with your own death. What’s definitely right about all of this prepaid business is that it’s no fun to be on the other end, no pun intended, and suddenly be responsible for the arrangements when a parent dies.

I know what it’s like to fly into town and be confronted by the myriad tasks and arrangements that need to be made. What did he/she want? Should there be a memorial service, a celebration of life, a viewing, a wake, when and where, cremation or burial, death certificates, is there a will, where is it, what does it say, was there anything about organ donations, obituary, who gets notified, etc.?

So, in that spirit and acknowledging a visceral hatred of morticians and other agents in death’s sales force, we did some research. My friend Pat Kile’s husband, David, is a retired minister so I called David for advice. I told him we didn’t want the deluxe pewter coffin with French silk and Belgian lace. We didn’t want the clergyman in the black suit who didn’t know us or the chorus of professional mourners singing Bridge Over Troubled Waters. Rather, we wanted a quick cremation and a cardboard box for the ashes.

Where could we get what we wanted and avoid the sales pitch? David delivered. People’s Memorial is the death industry’s TJ Maxx. For less than a grand we get picked up and delivered to the Co-op Funeral Home (of People’s Memorial). We get “sheltering and refrigeration.” Not sure what “sheltering” is or about the refrigeration part since I’m a California boy at heart and hate to be cold. Nevertheless, that’s part of the package. Then it’s burn baby burn. When that’s done the ashes go in this tasteful plastic container and cardboard box ready for pick up by our next of kin.

funeral-cremation-urn

But wait; there’s more. Like the TV guy selling Vegematics at 2 a.m. there is more. No, not a carrot peeler or potato masher but the basic cremation package does include 5 certified copies of the Death Certificate, complimentary carbon offsets to equal the carbon dump of the burn, a complimentary tree planted in honor of the deceased (me/us), and payment of the King County Medical Examiner tax, plus 9.6% sales tax. Not bad, eh?

Well, here’s where we had second thoughts; in addition to the honorable service we were providing our children, we needed to get this done within the three months in order pick up 70,000 miles on our Delta Platinum American Express card. That’s enough for a roundtrip to Europe. Bingo! Great idea! Death benefits and free travel in the same package.

I’m afraid our travel plans shocked Kimberly, the very nice young woman who was helping us. She kept smiling as we celebrated our dual conquests – prepaid death benefits and a free flight to Europe. Unfortunately, she said, People’s Memorial only takes Visa or MasterCard – no American Express. Huge disappointment, as The Donald would say. Great idea but no cigar. We ended up putting our post-death benefits on a Visa card and collecting 2000 points – far from the roundtrip fare to Europe we planned on but a nudge in that direction.

Too bad we didn’t earn those 70,000 points for the burn and urn, but I’ve had my eye on an Italian espresso machine complete with a full compliment of bells and whistles. We’re going to Europe one way or another and if it means buying the Ferrari of espresso machines to get there, so be it. We’re definitely not going to let Delta wrangle us out of our travel perks this time – like they did in 1991 when I got screwed out of my pension and travel benefits because Delta pushed Pan Am into bankruptcy.

RIP Pan Am. I’m not in a hurry to join you in the boneyard but when I do it’s all prepaid. Cheers.

funeral-flowers

Be Kind. Make Art. Fight the Power…

zen-sand-garden

“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well”      

– Buddha

I’m trying…

Trying to stand up and rebalance after the political knockdown. Trying to refocus on the positive. Trying to take my cues from Colson Whitehead, this year’s National Book Award winner, who celebrated the redeeming power of art in his acceptance speech last night. His mantra for all of us – “Be kind to everybody, make art, and fight the power.”

Good advice. I’m exhausted from the turmoil of the news cycle. Be positive. Stop whining. Look forward. Live honestly. Celebrate integrity and take comfort in reading, writing, and living the values I hope will inform the future our children and grandchildren’s will inherit.

Two weeks ago Robert Olen Butler read from his new novel, Perfume River at my local bookstore (Third Place Books) in Lake Forest Park. Mr. Butler is the 1993 Pulitzer Prize winning author of A Good Scent from a Strange Mountain, a collection of short stories sourced from his experience as a Vietnamese-speaking US military interpreter during the “American War.” I read A Good Scent…  around the time it was published but didn’t appreciate how good it was until I reread it while working in Saigon.

As an admirer of creative fiction I was astonished at the way this American writer was able to inhabit the characters of an old Vietnamese woman, a VC sapper, an American GI deserter, and a young Viet Kieu girl. Like a great actor, the author became these characters. I was so impressed on rereading the stories that I sent him an email asking if I could visit while in Florida on a work assignment.  He agreed and I drove 421 miles out of my way to do it.

Butler lives in Capps, Florida, a T-intersection near Tallahassee, in an old plantation house filled with books and shelves lined with “hot” sauces –two of his obsessions. The house is on the National Register of Historic Places just a few miles from Florida State University where he teaches creative writing.

“Ibutlers-library‘ll never stop believing it: Robert Olen Butler is the best living American writer, period,” (Jeff Guinn, book editor for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram).

There are a number of exceptional American writers but Robert Olen Butler, is unquestionably one of the best. The 71 year-old, five times married author, has published 16 novels, 4 collections of short stories, and a seminal work for aspiring writers called From Where You Dream: The Process of Writing Fiction.

When I pulled up to the house – literally pulled up to the house because there is just a hard flat piece of ground ending at its steps – I was greeted like an old friend. “Come on up” he said. I climbed the stairs and entered a large simply furnished room. He led me through the house, a jumble of rooms filled with books. My kind of place. If you’ve ever toured the colonial homes of our Founding Fathers you’ll know what I mean, many small rooms with high ceilings but no discernible floor plan.

After the house tour and some small talk he asked if I liked Mexican food. I do. “Let me grab my coat and I’ll take you to the best Mexican restaurant in the country.” Sixteen miles north, in Monticello, near the Florida-Georgia line, the Rancho Grande looks like a typical Mexican café – high backed wooden booths, bright yellow walls with royal blue trim decorated with sombreros and serapes. But appearances can be, as they say, deceiving, and Butler was right; the food was some of the best Mexican I’ve ever eaten. I ordered the special Lunch Fajitas with rice and beans and washed them down with a Dos Equis Dark. Delicious.

During our meal we talked about writing fiction and the outline of our lives. He asked how many times I’d been married and laughed when I said three. He told me I was one behind.”  Actually now it’s two, since then he’s divorced number four and married number five. Last week he told me he thought he was over his compulsive need to “commit.”

After lunch we drove back to Capps and he took me around to the small outbuilding that serves as his office/studio (also lined with books). He had just signed a contract to write two thrillers based on a short story written years before. There was no artifice about him. He asked me about myself and seemed genuinely interested. He asked if I read thriller fiction and if so what authors I liked. He was looking for models. I told him I admired Alan Furst, and he quickly said “Yes, but I think the characters are a little thin.” I wouldn’t have said that but he’s the expert. His characters always jump off the page as real people.

Our afternoon together passed quickly but he never made me feel it was time to go. When it was over, I thanked him and left behind a stack of books I brought for him to sign. Then I drove to the FSU campus to see where he teaches. Nice place. Two weeks later the box of books arrived in Seattle, each with personalized inscription. Bob Butler is a class act.

perfume-river

I’m reading Perfume River now and seeing in it my own Vietnam experience as well as universal and personal family issues. There’s no shortage of literary hanky panky here. The protagonist is a 70-year-old Vietnam vet, now a professor at FSU, who by virtue of the imminent death of his father must confront a number of long buried issues, personal, familial, and global. There are dysfunctional marriages, mistaken identities, a doppelganger homeless man, and reflections on family and mortality. It dexterously shifts back and forth between the war in Vietnam, the protagonist’s pre-war family, and his present day life in Florida. The scope is global but it’s grounded in the particular – something he implores his students to strive for. I’m not finished with the book but I’m savoring every word. Perfume River is an important new novel from a writers’ writer. It’s also a great launch point for me with Colson Whitehead’s mantra ever in the background.

Be kind to everybody, make art, and fight the power.