Why We Needed Donald Trump…

When confronting difficult or unusual situations we are often advised to “think outside the box.” Jasper Johns, the iconic American painter, was thinking outside the box when he broke with tradition and painted these versions of the American flag.

Johns shook up the art world by challenging it to think differently. He was a disrupter. Sometimes art imitates life and sometimes, it seems, life imitates art. Like Jasper Johns, Donald Trump is a disrupter, the Disrupter in Chief, and the ways he has disrupted our government challenges us to think differently about it. My friends may disagree with me, but as contrarian as it sounds, Mr. Trump may be just what we needed to wake us up. From his descent on the escalator at Trump Tower and his remarks about Mexican rapists he has challenged us, begged us, to say “no more.” His presence alone is a provocation.

In just three years as the nation’s chief executive, his actions have taken us so far outside the box that we, and Congress, have stopped thinking in normal categories. We have been thrown outside the box. We need to get back in and think about what kind of America we want. In this remarkable existential moment, with the president impeached and on trial in the US Senate we, the American people, are also on trial. We can no longer dither about transgender bathrooms and kneeling during the national anthem. We have to decide what kind of country we want and who we want included in it. Will we choose Donald Trump’s America, or something more democratic and traditional?

America has never been perfect, but it has re-invented itself many times. We began as a slave nation and were “legally” segregated by race until the Civil Rights Act of 1964. America’s indigenous people were stripped of their land and forcibly relocated to make way for westward expansion. Women were not “granted” the right to vote until passage of the 19th Amendment in 1920. We turned European Jews away when they sought refuge at the beginning of WWII and Japanese Americans, though they were US citizens, were placed in concentration camps and had their property confiscated. Joseph McCarthy and the House Un-American Activities Committee purged the nation’s university and film communities of “free thinking” communists and socialists in the 1950s. We declared war on North Vietnam on the basis of false information in the Gulf of Tonkin, and invaded Iraq on the basis of fabricated intelligence. Under President Trump immigrant children were separated from their families and held in cages. 

It’s not a pretty picture, but Americans have always embraced an aspirational myth that provides an alternative to this darkness. In 1931 a historian named James Truslow Adams coined the phrase “American dream” in his history, The Epic of America, and our disenfranchised, our racially and ethnically diverse, and our immigrant strivers have long held on to that dream in spite of our failures along the way. The United States has always been aspirational. Madison, Jefferson and Franklin studied the great philosophers as they drafted the founding documents, and though some were slaveholders they were also dreamers. They were conflicted. They proclaimed equality but counted their slaves as only 3/5 of a person for census purposes. 

From the beginning, historians tried to nail down the American experience. Samuel Eliot Morison and Henry Steele Commager held sway when I was a student, but it was Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States published in 1980 that deflowered the myth of the American dream and replaced it with a darker story of entrenched forces and counter movements, of oppressors and oppressed.

Zinn’s history was written in the wake of the Vietnam War when the nation was defeated and its demographics changing rapidly. That period was followed by 9/11, the hunt for Osama Bin Laden, and George W. Bush’s senseless unrelated invasion of Iraq. In spite of this folly, the global economy was humming along until the new economy’s technology-based “paradigm” collapsed and the global economy came undone in 2007. Americans were at war, losing jobs and pensions. They were looking for a silver bullet. They thought they had one when they elected their first black president, but as the economy slowly recovered racism and an uncompromising cadre of Republican Senators stonewalled the new president’s inclusionary vision for the country. There was little agreement on how to unify the American electorate and move forward. The pendulum was swinging, the ground fertile and the situation ripe for a savior. 

Enter Donald Trump…

Like lovers on the rebound, and with the help of an archaic electoral system and Russian intervention, the American voters put Donald Trump in the White House in 2016. Ironically, he is the beneficiary of the financial recovery engineered by his predecessor. With the benefit of a great economy and a devoted following he’s been able to maintain weather the storm. He knows how to excite his followers and they know what kind of America they want. It isn’t the America I want.

In her one volume history, These Truths: A History of the United States, Jill Lepore writes about “the case for the nation,” in which she argues that as diverse as we are racially, ethnically, and sociologically, we can find a unified vision for the country. I hope she’s right. I’m counting on it for my children and grandchildren. The alternative, the Donald Trump vision, is too dark to contemplate. We the People… are optimistic, aspirational, generous, and tolerant, but our vision will not prevail unless we find a candidate who can unify us and work with us to bring it about.

I know it’s contrarian, but I’m not surprised Donald Trump was elected. He may be just what we needed to shock us into rethinking our priorities. He has shown me that his vision of and for America is one I don’t recognize or accept. We can do better. That, with all due respect to Jasper Johns, is how I think about it from inside the box.

Our Existential Moment…

As a college undergraduate I was enamored of Existentialism, that most romantic and nihilistic of French philosophies. I wore black turtleneck sweaters, smoked Lucky Strikes, and channeled Albert Camus, but my senior thesis, a derivative sophomoric critique of Camus’ Myth of Sisyphus, drew a disappointing response from Louise Gould, my tiny, intense, chain-smoking, comparative literature advisor.

Professor Gould was absolutely right, and I still blush when I think of it. She was simply pointing out that quoting established critics is not the same as rigorous analysis based on personal research. My thesis did not reflect the critical thinking skills required and expected of a college senior.

That painful memory came back today as I thought about a different kind of existentialism. In aviation the point of no return is the point along the planned flight path beyond which an aircraft will no longer be capable of returning to the airfield of origin or a chosen alternate. Today’s existentialism is not an exercise in academic philosophy. It is not romantic though it may be nihilistic. Today’s existential moment turns on whether America is at or near its point of no return. If we can’t return to our base, what does our future look like? Where will our current course take us?

Several friends have asked me to leave the politics of Donald Trump outside these margins, and I understand how they feel. I’d rather not write about him but find it impossible to write about the country without commenting on current affairs. But, this existential moment is not about Donald Trump. He is a symptom of something bigger and more perilous – the collective lack of consensus, will, and imagination that has taken us, in less than 60 years, from being the most successful nation on earth to one that is a polarized, rundown, dysfunctional, and almost feudal in its current system of privilege and poverty.

When I write about anything, I try to find a positive note even when the subject is dark, but I find it increasingly difficult when writing about what’s happening in America today. During my short lifespan, I have seen the country rise to the pinnacle of modern nation-states and fall just as precipitously to its present status as a rudderless, degraded, and disrespected power–still feared but lacking in moral authority. We are no longer the admired and trusted leader of the free world. The reasons are many and complicated. The solutions, if there are any, will demand discipline, cooperation, and vast amounts of money.

Reclaiming our place among elite nations will require trillions of dollars and a national commitment greater than what was needed to put Neil Armstrong on the moon in 1969. 

The US Treasury has been drained and needs to be replenished. Giant corporations and America’s richest individuals pay little or no tax. The richest among us are getting richer. More than half of all income growth since 1976 has ended up in the pockets of the top 1%. If we want quality services and policies to support them, we need to do a cost benefit analysis and make adjustments to the tax laws in order to raise the money needed to repair the damage caused by years of neglect and self-dealing.

If we are sincere in our desire to reclaim our place among nations we need solid, inspiring, leadership. We need to find a leader who will unify not divide us. We are better than identity politics. We are not an anti-Semitic, racist, white supremacist, or bigoted nation, but those voices will continue to be heard until there is a leader who brings Americans together and appeals to “our better angels.” I don’t see that leader yet, but I’m not giving up on finding him or her.

I’m positive a leader will emerge, but we can’t wait for inspiration. We must get to work now. America is literally coming apart at the seams. Think, if you will, about how these items have been degraded in your lifetime:

  • Climate change: This is our biggest challenge. Time is of the essence. We are the only developed nation not a signatory to the Paris Climate Accords. As the world’s #2 contributor to greenhouse gas emissions we must rejoin the 175 signatories, reduce our emissions, and seek other solutions to remedy the situation. This is a survival problem.
  • Infrastructure: America’s roads, bridges, rail lines, and airports are falling apart and need repair.
  • Education: Early childhood, elementary and secondary education, vocational training, teacher salaries, and school infrastructure need to be improved.
  • Healthcare: We spend more per capita than any other nation but rank 32nd in terms of healthcare outcomes.
  • Immigration: Immigration reform is Congress’ responsibility. Properly drafted it can be humane and enhance national productivity. It is not an insoluble problem but it requires men and women of good will coming together to craft a policy that best serves the country.
  • Gun ownership: the 2nd Amendment guarantees the right to bear arms, but there are more than 300,000,000 guns on the streets and in the homes of Americans. We can and need to regulate the purchase, ownership, and categories of firearms in order to reduce the number of gun related deaths and mass shootings.

It’s not a giant leap to find a metaphor for America’s situation in my long-ago love affair with Camus “existentialism.” Camus used the Greek legend of Sisyphus as a metaphor for the individual’s struggle against the absurdity of life. Sisyphus is condemned by the gods to repeatedly roll a boulder up a hill only to have it roll down again once he gets it to the top.

Today, we are at the bottom of the hill. If we gather together to push the boulder up the hill we may regain our former status. If we get there the boulder may roll down again. Life and governments move in cycles. Maybe Sisyphus is a metaphor for our cyclical lives. It’s possible we are not yet at the point of no return.

Camus acknowledged the absurdity of the situation but saw Sisyphus as the master of his own life. Perhaps that’s how we should see our situation. We can’t predict the outcome but it seems better to be the master than the slave, to make the effort rather than allow darker forces to divide us.

“I leave Sisyphus at the bottom of the mountain! His burden is always there. But Sisyphus teaches the higher loyalty which denies the gods and moves boulders. It is his judgment also that all is well. This universe, henceforth without master, appears neither sterile nor futile to him. Every grain of this stone, every glistening mineral of this night-filled mountain forms a world for him alone. The struggle itself toward the summit is enough to fill the heart of a man. We must imagine Sisyphus as happy.”

Jill Lepore in her book This America notes that “The United States began, not as a nation but as a confederation of thirteen states and before that a collection of colonies. The land had for tens of thousands of years been inhabited by people originally from Asia. It had been seized conquered and settled by people from Europe who brought with them people from Africa held in bondage. The thirteen colonies they established had little in common, so little that in 1775 John Adams remarked that they differed ‘almost as much as several distinct nations.’ The devising of an American ‘nation’ out of that past is pushing a cart uphill.” Definitely a Sisyphean challenge.

We Need the Newseum…

The University of Montana’s School of Journalism, established in 1914, is one of the oldest accredited journalism programs in America. My mother was one of its first female graduates in 1928, and though she never worked as a journalist she inspired me to be a writer and would be proud to know her granddaughter is a mid-career writer, editor, and freelance journalist.  

It’s not surprising then that we, as a family, are staunch supporters of the First Amendment and its important role in maintaining a free and open society. Unfortunately, our current president, thin-skinned and notably ignorant of the country’s founding principles and documents, views the press as “the enemy of the people.”

Journalists and other writers are and have always been the social and political conscience of the people – not the enemy. Americans may be unfamiliar with the term Fourth Estate, but it’s common in other democracies and derives historically from journalism’s role as a check on the three traditional estates of the realm – the clergy, the nobility, and the commoners (Wikipedia).

Today’s Fourth Estate, news media, acts as an informal agency to monitor and report back to the people on the executive, legislative, and judicial branches of government. It is society’s conscience, the guardrail that keeps government from overstepping its bounds and its officials accountable… especially in troubling times like these.

That’s why I was devastated to hear that the Newseum, a Washington D.C. museum built to celebrate journalism and honor its practitioners, was closing its doors on New Year’s Eve 2019. Words, the tools of the trade in journalism and so important in the defense of liberty, are wholly inadequate to express my upset.

Only a year ago, M and I spent most of a day at the Newseum where I took this picture of the US Capitol from its outside walkway. Originally located across the river in Rosslyn, Virginia, in 2008 it was relocated to D.C.’s Pennsylvania Avenue at a cost of $450 million. From the beginning, it was an ambitious but under-financed project competing for visitors with 15 free museums a block away on the National Mall. A private institution with an adult admission of $25, the price was beyond the reach of many visitors. When it became clear that its operational costs were unsustainable the trustees sold the building to Johns Hopkins University.

While there were many exhibits at the Newseum, from sections of the Berlin Wall to live feeds from 80 international newspapers, I think the Journalists Memorial was the most striking and memorable. Covering a floor to ceiling wall and composed of the photographs of 2344 reporters, photographers, and broadcasters who died reporting the news, it spoke dramatically of the courage, responsibility, and danger associated with the profession.

The Fourth Estate is vital and active but under attack – and not just from Mr. Trump. News delivery is changing. More than 1 in 5 newspapers have closed since 2004. Newspapers can’t compete with Breaking News on the Internet. Traditional network news is losing ground to a variety of opinion-based cable channels. Investigative reporters fact check their stories and reveal the truth, but consumers find it increasingly difficult to distinguish reliable sources from bots and trolls.

At every campaign rally, Mr. Trump rails against the press, often threatening journalists and calling them out by name. In this era of extreme political division, with rage and unparalleled access to firearms, his provocations call for increasing vigilance.

We need the Newseum. We need a monument to the Fourth Estate, a substantial brick and mortar testament to journalism’s role in a civil society. Along with the Holocaust and African American museums on the Mall, the Newseum reminds us that our freedoms are not free.

The Newseum trustees are looking for a new location. It may not be as grand as the one they are leaving, but let’s hope they find one soon to honor the men and women who educate, inform, and prepare us for our role as citizens.

Admiration and Hope…

As the year draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the good, the bad and the ugly of the previous twelve months. So much of our public discourse has been devoted to the ugly that I decided to end the year by shining a light on a few friends whose accomplishments and attitudes I find especially admirable. As I reflected, I was reminded of the serendipity of life – that random events and minor differences can alter the course of a life. Where you were born, when you were born, whether you inherit good genes or bad, are lucky or unlucky all play a part and remind us to focus and live in the present.

Some folks read the news
And get the blues
Others avoid the Top News Section
‘Cause it causes indigestion.

All the news of Donald Trump
Leads some to seek a stomach pump.
His staff plays a game of musical chairs
About sycophants and millionaires.
When the music stops, no one knows,
But when it does, someone goes.
One way to cope is deadly prose
That works for many, I suppose.
Others read their news in witty verse
Administered by a comic nurse.

Let’s all sit back and have a good time.
Cause here comes the Donald all in rhyme!

The poem above introduces Reverend David K. Fly’s  third book – I’m President and You’re Not: The Residency of Donald Trump – A Distasting. David is the newest of the friends profiled here, and though all five are singular in their achievements, David may have the most eccentric resume – standup comedian, professional clown, and Episcopal priest. 

David says the three roles became increasingly intertwined throughout his life. The big top of the circus came to represent for him the church with its sense of wonder and mystery—a world from which no one is excluded. He sees his role of clown and Christian as an opportunity to expose the folly of pretense and vanity of pride.

David, a stretched out 5’6”, is married to my friend Adrienne, aka Sam, who at 6’2” can probably still dunk a basketball. David tells me he’s just grateful he has a partner who can reach things on the top shelf. 

I met Adrienne before I met David. We were both single and living in Manhattan. The sister of a fellow Marine and law school friend, she was working as a researcher at Life Magazine and I was flying for Pan Am out of JFK. We were both broke but enjoying the free museums and concerts all around town. Then we grew up and took off in different directions. She went to law school, and I transferred to Berlin.

David and Adrienne are about to celebrate their 30thanniversary and proudly share his 5 daughters now scattered around the country. In 1998, David retired as rector of Grace Church, Kirkwood, Missouri but he and Adrienne, a practicing lawyer, spent the next 13 years giving other Episcopal clergy the tools they would need for their own retirement. When I asked about his health, Adrienne told me he was struggling with COPD, but he added with characteristic good humor “I earned it.” I believe him… in the best way. Attitude may not be everything, but it does help smooth the bumps.

When it comes to bumps, my friend Hugh Milburn has been dealing with one that would defeat most of us though you might never know it. His attitude in the face of the obstacle is astonishingly calm.

Last year, while enjoying a well-earned retirement after 40 years as an oceanographer at NOAA, he was diagnosed with a rare genetic version of ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). This is a guy who was riding his mountain bike on single track, waterskiing, and playing the guitar into his 70’s. We shared these interests and four years ago at his urging I started taking lessons on alternating weeks with him and his guitar teacher. A couple of years later he and his wife, Marilyn, moved to their dream retirement home looking out on Puget Sound near Olympia, and last year after noticing some muscle weakness… they got the diagnosis.

When the Milburn’s two daughters were growing up, Hugh, my wife M, and Tom Bird whom you’ll meet next, had children in the same schools. When they became concerned about how science was being taught in their schools they formed a non-profit called Friends of Science, and dedicated themselves to improving the teaching of science in their local school district.

I didn’t know Hugh until I moved back to Seattle, but in yet another serendipitous small world coincidence, we discovered that my son Brent, a NOAA Corps officer, worked for Hugh as the executive officer on one of NOAA’s ocean-going ships gathering scientific data in the Pacific. Small world indeed. 

When M and I visited Hugh last week he was cheerful and welcoming though confined to a wheelchair now. There wasn’t a trace of self-pity in his manner and his smile is as bright as ever. When I Googled his name, ResearchGate, a social networking site for scientists and researchers, listed 17 publications he either authored or co-authored, most of them from PMEL (Pacific Marine Environmental Laboratory) with subjects ranging from tsunami hazard reduction to deep ocean bottom measurements – something my son’s ship was involved with. I’ve always wished we had known each other earlier but definitely glad for what we have now.

Hugh and Marilynn’s partner in Friends of Science was Dr. Thomas Bird. Tom has been a Professor of Neurology and Medical Genetics at the University of Washington for 40 years and a pioneer in the field of Clinical Neurogenetics. He’s the recipient of numerous national awards for his research on hereditary diseases of the nervous system including Alzheimer and Huntington diseases and established the first clinic for adults with neurogenetic diseases in the United States.

Tom and his wife, Ros, share our interest in theater and for the last 10-15 years we have seen play after play in each other’s company. He recently published Can You Help Me: Inside the Turbulent World of Huntington Disease, a narrative account of his encounters with Huntington patients and the bizarre unpredictable, and devastating disease for which there is no cure. M and I were honored to be manuscript readers before the final publication and are always in awe of his ability to manage patient care with empathy for those suffering from this incurable and devastating illness. Tom has ceased his clinical practice, but continues to work on research projects and mentor others at the UW and the VA hospitals.

Ruth Kagi is a relentless crusader for children, a recently retired state legislator, a mother, grandmother, and a warm and generous friend. She began her public life as a policy analyst for the Department of Labor in Washington DC after graduating from Syracuse University with a master’s degree in Public Administration, but her passion and life’s work really began when she retired from the federal government and, working with the League of Women Voters, became an advocate for children. 

With years in the bureaucratic and non-profit trenches and encouragement from her husband, Mark, who died of COPD while she was in office, Ruth ran for the Washington state legislature in 1998. She stayed for 20 years, served on the Appropriations and Environment committees and chaired the Early Learning and Human Services Committee. She has been a forceful voice for children, expanding early learning opportunities, and reforming the child welfare system. In the process she has become a nationally recognized authority in the field. 

In the legislature, Ruth initiated and shepherded the passage of legislation establishing quality standards for child-care and pre-school, protecting foster children, and creating the new Department of Children Youth and Families.

One of the remarkable things about Ruth and one I truly admire is that she is the child of one of Washington’s pioneering lumber families but has devoted her entire adult life to helping the less fortunate, especially children, in difficult circumstances. Today, she continues her work as Early Learning Ambassador for ABC Partners, a collaboration of philanthropies, supported by Connie Ballmer of the Ballmer Group, that dedicates itself to creating early learning opportunities to enable all  children to enter kindergarten ready to succeed, especially those who are disproportionately likely to remain in poverty. Her dogged advocacy isn’t flashy, but it has changed the lives of many children in both Washington state and on an expanding national canvas. 

The outlier in this group of friends is Dave Northfield. He’s the son of my high school friends, Bob and Sue, but Dave and I have a friendship independent of his parents. In the ‘90s we were both living in Salt Lake City where he was the morning anchor on KTVX the local ABC affiliate. During our overlapping four years we skied, played tennis, and went to jazz clubs reinforcing what has become has become a special intergenerational friendship. 

A graduate of the University of California, Berkeley, an alma mater we also shared, Dave also has a master’s degree from Columbia University School of Journalism. As a young reporter, he was on a rocket ride in broadcast journalism – but for a series of bad breaks. 

When KTVX had an evening anchor opening he was told he looked too young for the job and was passed over for a Mormon applicant. Maybe SLC wasn’t a good choice after all. He had come to KTVX from KGET in Bakersfield, a smaller market, where he broke into the field and served his apprenticeship. When he was passed over for the evening anchor job in Salt Lake City, he shopped his resume around and chose KGW, the NBC affiliate in Portland, a still bigger market, where he was hired as a general reporter hoping to advance to an anchor job. 

Malcolm Gladwell makes a point about timing in Outliers: The Story of Success. Timing is everything and Dave’s wasn’t great. After a few years at KGW with no anchor openings, he felt his career was stalling, so with three children in or approaching college he made the difficult choice to leave broadcast journalism. The transition wasn’t easy, but his journalism experience made him a natural in public relations. He recently landed a very good PR job as Director of Communications for the Oregon Association of Hospitals and Health Systems. 

Broadcast journalism lost a star when it failed to recognize how good he was, and that’s not just friendship talking. I watched him work in two markets. On air, he was a charismatic, well-informed, Emmy winning journalist with the kind of interview rapport that made everyone comfortable.

Gladwell is right; timing is everything. Media has changed. Networks are struggling. Cable news is expanding but much of it is opinion rather than journalism. Investigative work is thriving, but the job market is shrinking. Like shopping malls and chain bookstores, print journalism is dying. Dave will succeed in PR but the public would have been better served if he had been allowed to follow his career of choice. 

Sometimes it isn’t COPD, ALS, or even age that interferes with success… it might just be timing, so as the year draws to a close I’m sharing these friends and honoring them for their accomplishments and attitudes – true citizens of the world and examples of the goodness that will hopefully be our salvation.

Happy New Year 2020

A Special Disappointment…

It was going to be a special shared birthday; drive to Portland for an upscale getaway dinner during a particularly bleak time of year in the Northwest. We enjoy everything from dive bars to special occasion restaurants so long as they’re unique. In September, we ate at four very different restaurants in New Orleans, all James Beard award winners, so when I told a friend of our birthday plans he suggested we try Jory, the restaurant at the Allison Inn and Spa, a luxury wine estate, near Newberg south of Portland. 

Several days before the trip I went online to make a 6:30 reservation using the Open Table link on their website. I was given 5:45 or 8pm as their openings. Neither was good, but of the two, 5:45 seemed like better timing. It was the first in a series of disappointments. Not a great start.

In an earlier life I owned a small upscale Italian bistro called Piccolo in Sun Valley, and when I was new in the business I was mentored by Wolfgang Schmidheiny the Swiss CEO of Napa’s Cuvaison Winery. Early in our friendship I asked him to talk to our staff about wine. He agreed but redirected the discussion to what it takes to give the customer a good overall restaurant experience. With respect to wine, he told us to keep it simple; let the waiter in the tuxedo down the street talk about “notes of blackberry and chocolate on the nose.” He suggested the waitstaff say the wine in question was “representative of the varietal, well reviewed by the experts, and one of our best sellers.”

Then he talked about the restaurant experience itself. He told us that there are four things to consider in evaluating a restaurant – food, atmosphere, service, and “recognition.” Food preparation, he told us, may be simple or complex but all restaurants worthy of a review use high quality seasonal ingredients and prepare them well. Consequently, food was the least important of the four considerations on his list. The most important was recognition, by which he meant how the customer was treated. If he was a returning customer, he should be recognized and greeted warmly by name. If new, he/she should be welcomed cordially and made to feel comfortable? Service was the second consideration, essentially an adjunct to the first, and atmosphere was third.

This leads me to the crux of my review of Jory, the Allison Inn restaurant. On Tuesday, M and I drove to Portland. My friend told us to take a “bag full of cash,” but cost wasn’t going to determine our restaurant choice. We had looked at the menu and knew what to expect.

Sadly, the evening didn’t measure up – but it wasn’t the food that disappointed. When we arrived at the Inn, in driving rain and heavy traffic, we gave the car to the valet and presented ourselves to the maître d’hôtel. His welcome was cold and unsmiling. He seemed distracted, surprised to see us, and asked “Would you like to wait in the bar until your table is ready?” Really? Does ten minutes early mean you have to sit in the bar when the dining room is empty? We told him we preferred to be seated, and with reluctance he led us to our table in the totally empty dining room. Not long after we were seated another couple came in and the four of us sat alone in the room until just before 7pm. There is nothing less enjoyable than watching the wait staff fidget while you wait for your food in a large empty dining room. I wondered why my 6:30 request had been denied. If we had been seated at 6:30 our orders would have been in the kitchen queue before the 7pm arrivals. Were they understaffed and unable to handle a full dining room? Didn’t they realize an empty dining room always raises questions about a restaurant?

Despite the bad start, our servers were attentive and there were a couple of nice surprises including a mushroom amuse bouche with our drinks and sorbet between courses. Our waiter was knowledgeable, and when I asked about a local Pinot Noir his recommendation turned out to be just right for the octopus and chorizo pappardelle starter and later with the seared Pacific scallops with a pomegranate garnish. Marilynn’s Australian Wagyu striploin was cooked to a perfect medium rare but delivered to the table on the cool side. Not fatal but not up to her standard. The service was competent throughout and, all in all, the food part of our meal was good. Unfortunately, the overall experience was degraded by the 5:45 start, the empty dining room, and the imperious greeting by the maître’d. On the way back to our hotel we didn’t discuss the excellent food flavors. Instead, the conversation turned on how ridiculous and condescending the maître’d had been. Our special occasion dinner experience fell flat, and though we got away for $200 we would rather have spent more for a memorable birthday dinner.

The lesson is obvious; if your business depends on the customer experience, the staff needs training. You never know who that customer is going to be. The Jory didn’t know I was a freelance travel writer or that we had restaurant chops. My friend Wolfgang was 100% right; with three of the four factors on the right side of the ledger the experience was still disappointing. Even with special touches like the suite of chocolates on a Happy Birthday plate (below) we left the restaurant wishing it had been better. It’s a shame that Open Table and a condescending host can turn a special celebration into a disappointing occasion. It takes such little effort to do it right.