JACK BERNARD'S TRAVELS

“The closing years of life are like the end of a masquerade party when the masks are dropped.”

Arthur Schopenhauer

Robert Redford is my age, and it’s clear that until recently he had an edge in the good looks department. I’d say it’s a tossup now. He still has the great hair and the penetrating blue eyes. I have neither. In the end it’s not about the faces although they do command attention. George Orwell said, “At age 50, every man has the face he deserves.” I’m happy with mine and I feel certain that Robert Redford is happy with his. There aren’t a lot of good options when it comes to growing old, but it feels right to allow age to arrive naturally. He obviously feels the same. Neither one of us wants to go under the knife and end up looking like Kenny Rogers or Bruce Jenner. At this point in my life I feel lucky be able to look in the mirror – no matter what I look like. Every day people I know or admire show up in the obituaries along with pictures that prove the point, and it causes most of us to think more about mortality than we like to admit.

This isn’t a maudlin, cranky, feel sorry piece about getting old. Yesterday I saw Mr. Redford’s latest film, The Company You Keep, and it triggered a series of reflections on age, youthful idealism, family, choices made, consequences, and what Conrad called “the villainy of circumstance”. It’s a good film and worth seeing, but the audience demographic was surprising – they were all my age. Redford is 76 and the events depicted took place 50 years ago. I thought it would appeal to a larger audience, but maybe that says something about Mr. Redford and me too.

Recently there have been a slew of films exploring both age and mortality – The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, A Late Quartet, Amour, and the quirky Quartet with Maggie Smith, Tom Courtenay, and Billy Connelly. The Company You Keep is a stylish big budget movie with big name stars (Susan Sarandon, Julie Christie, Shia LeBeouf, Nick Nolte, and Sam Elliot) and a thriller plot. The other films are smaller in scale, focused on relationships, and do a somewhat better job of exploring the dynamics of growing old and coping with its issues. What I have liked about the recent ones is that the characters continue to be interesting, vibrant, alive, and having a good time. The endgame can be upbeat.

A friend recently said to me “It’s the surprise of being so old and still acting like an adolescent from time to time….” He’s right; age sneaks up on us and when we realize it we tend to act out. We go on to deny or ignore it until the grieving process, not wholly conscious, kicks in. I don’t “feel” old. I still have the same youthful enthusiasm I’ve always had for tennis, skiing, guitar playing, adventure travel, and meeting new people, but when I look in the mirror it’s written there. My children are in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. I have a child who is 53 years old. That can’t be… can it?

The recent bestseller by Michele VanOrt Cozzens called The Things I Wish I’d Said reminds me that there is nothing like having unfinished business with someone who is dead. I felt that way when my father passed away unexpectedly, and I suspect my children will have some of the same feelings. When we’re younger we don’t think much about it, but when we’re in the zone we think about what’s left to be done. I feel OK about it now and think I’ve done a lot of that work, but I know I’ll never get right with everyone in my life. I try to be straight and hope that they know that I love them. In the end, we all want to set things straight and to clear the air.

Am I having a problem with growing old? You bet. I don’t go to reunions because I hate being trapped in a roomful of old people, and I also have a problem with other people’s age-related expectations. Some of these feelings are normal. My own parents had expectations that differed from mine and so do my children. I love my kids and their kids, but I know that I’m not a traditional grandparent. Maybe later, but it’s safe to say that there isn’t much time left for later. At this point I’m still too restless to give up the quest for something new and interesting. I see Lucie and Benny, two of my grandchildren, once or twice a week and love it, but being a caregiver is not who I am even at this age. I haven’t stopped working and I’ve been lucky enough to find meaningful work even ten years after the normal retirement age. At 72 I was asked to take a job in Saigon and when that job ended at 75 I started looking for something new.

From what I know about Redford he has the same restlessness and curiosity. It may be the secret to maintaining a quality life. Keep busy. Stay engaged. Find new projects (or a new job). Enjoy what you have. Accept who you are. Try to live without regrets. Sooner or later the end will come – maybe sooner, maybe later. Over the years I made choices, some good and some bad. I can’t change those choices now. I have to live with them even though some of them have caused others pain. I’m sorry for the pain but after a sincere effort to make amends it is not my problem anymore. I have lost a couple of friends and a family member and that has been painful, but acceptance is the last stage of the grieving process and I think I’m there.

At the end of the masked ball, when the masks are dropped, what is revealed? Am I living well and doing good? I think so. I hope so. My biggest regret is that when I go I won’t be able to see what happens in the lives of those I love. I’m not ready to cash in yet, but I do want to go on the record as having no regrets.

“You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned.”

Judith Viorst

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I should be a big fan of Boeing airplanes. I live in Seattle. It’s where The Boeing Company began and where most of the planes are still made. I worked at Boeing while I was going to school. I have friends who have given their entire professional lives to the company, and as a former Pan Am pilot I have actually flown 5 Boeing airplanes. But, honestly, from a passenger comfort point of view Airbus makes better, quieter, more comfortable, smoother flying, and technically more advanced airplanes. I haven’t seen or flown the 787 Dreamliner and it is the cutting edge in aeronautical engineering, but I’m only a passenger these days and given the choice Airbus is what I want to fly now.

Last night I flew from Saigon to Seoul (5 hours) in a Boeing 777, and today I flew from Seoul to Seattle (10 hours) in an Airbus 330 (seen above). A few years ago the 777 was considered state of the art and, though it is well engineered, from a passenger’s point of view it feels like Boeing is on the side of the airlines – not the passengers. More seats, crowded cabins, narrow aisles, small restrooms and more noise.

I started to notice how smooth and quiet flights on the Airbus were several years ago. The gear comes up silently and goes down quietly and the flaps don’t make that old grinding screw-like noise. Touch down and deceleration are soft, smooth,and quiet – no noisy hard landings, shaking vibrations, engine reversals or heavy braking. Inside the cabin there are differences too. Airplanes that have two aisles with 3-3-3 seating configuration in each row are beastly for long haul passengers. That is true of most Boeing airplanes – the 737, 747, and worst of all the 757 a long narrow single aisle capsule with 3 seats on each side. The Airbus 330, on the other hand, has two aisles with a 2-4-2 configuration that makes it easier for passengers to extract themselves from a seat to access the lavatories or just walk around. From a health standpoint this is really important. Medical experts strongly recommend getting out of the seat at least once an hour in order to avoid potentially fatal blood clots in the legs and to simply get the blood moving again. I always try to get an aisle seat for this reason, but last night I had a window seat and had to ask two people to get up each time I wanted to move around. When the flight is a long ocean crossing at night that is not easy to do. Passengers want to sleep and it is natural to respect that and avoid waking them unless there is a good reason. Avoiding blood clots is a good reason but it doesn’t present itself as urgently as the need to visit the lavatory. Sitting on the aisle or one seat from the aisle makes it much more convenient.

At this point I also have to make a pitch for foreign airlines. When was the last time you visited the lavatory half way through a United or Delta flight and entered a spotless restroom? Usually it’s like visiting an outhouse; the floor is wet, the sink has is rimmed with soap scum, paper towels are wadded up on the counter or overflowing the receptacle and there may or may not be any toilet paper. On Asiana flights the flight attendants regularly patrol the lavatories to refresh the supplies, including tooth brushes and mouthwash as well as wipe down the counters – and the floor. It makes a difference.

And speaking of flight attendants – I don’t want any age discrimination in hiring but I think the energy, pride, and appearance of professionally groomed, agile flight attendants inspires passenger confidence. Shouldn’t American flight attendants, regardless of age, be held to the same professional grooming and productivity standards? The Asiana crew, all women this time, wore identical outfits (two piece suits) and all of them had their hair up in a bun in back. They were almost indistinguishable from one another. It looks (and feels) professional. No one was overweight and they worked tirelessly from the beginning to the end of the 10 hour flight to Seattle. This may seem unfair, but I sometimes look at US flight attendants on the same trans-Pacific flight (it’s a very senior leg) and see people I flew with in 1970 and wonder if they can still perform the duties required for an emergency evacuation. Maybe they can, but they don’t move or greet me with the same purpose, energy, and personality that I meet on Asiana, EVA, Korean, Thai or Singapore Airlines.

Air travel these days is mass transportation. It’s not much fun, especially in the economy section. Long haul transoceanic flights are torture. It makes a difference when the equipment and the crew are the best available. The next time you have occasion to travel think about more than just price. BTW: Asiana usually offers the best price for a crossing to Asia if the destination is not non-stop to Tokyo or Hong Kong). Pay attention to the type and age of the airplanes, the culture of the crew (Asian airlines are very service oriented), and the financial health of the airline itself (Japan Air Lines used to be among the best, but it has fallen on hard times and gone through bankruptcy. The last time I flew JAL the distance between my seat and the seat in front was so short that I had to sit sideways even when the forward seat was upright).

I love to travel and I try to minimize the pain and inconvenience associated with modern air transportation, but there are some things I keep in mind when making plans. I try to pile up the miles until have enough to upgrade to Business Class. It takes awhile, but in Business Class most of these considerations become secondary. There is nothing like a good meal, a stiff drink and a good night’s sleep to ease the pain after 10 hours in the capsule. Go Business, if possible, but if not find a carrier with flier-friendly new equipment, preferably Airbus, and a culture of dedicated service. Singapore is the gold standard, but Qatar and Asiana are right up there.

I want Boeing to prosper as a company. It will help Seattle survive, but for my own health and survival if I have to strap my butt in a seat for 10 hours I want the best seat in the best airplane available, and at this point I’m going with Airbus.

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I’ve got my toes in the water, ass in the sand
Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand
Life is good today, life is good today…

Zac Brown Band

This was the scene in front of our hotel at 6am yesterday. Puffy little popcorn clouds, clean white sand, glassy water in the Gulf of Thailand, and no one in sight. It quiets the mind to be in such a place. After two unsatisfactory hotel bookings in Seoul and Saigon I finally hit a home run with this gem on the island of Phu Quoc. At last we have family peace. Marilynn loves the place.

But… at 7am, sitting on our private terrace listening to the rustling of banana leaves, Marilynn leaned over and asked, “Do you think Kim Jong Un will aim his missiles at South Korean airliners as they’re flying into Seoul?”

Well, nothing gets your attention like a death threat or the prospect of nuclear annihilation. Thursday we’re flying back to Seattle on Asiana Airlines, Korea’s other national carrier and we’ll be in Seoul all day Friday. Seoul is 30 miles from the DMZ that separates the two Koreas, and at this very moment NK’s pudgy little dictator is full of loose talk about rockets and nuclear bombs and an imminent attack on South Korea, Japan and America. It seems that threatening nuclear war is his response to sanctions on the importation of luxury goods for his glamorous, Westernized wife. This would be a Chaplinesque joke if the insecure little dork wasn’t so creepily in the thrall of heavy weapons and under the influence of his father’s military cronies. Is he so stupid he would risk the annihilation of his entire country to prove his courage?

Is he for real? Should we take his threat seriously? Headlines in the NY Times this morning say that the US regards them as credible. I don’t know but while we wait the US and South Korea are flexing their muscles to discourage him. Will that make a difference? I somehow doubt it but I hope I’m wrong.

Coincidentally, I’m currently reading Book Four of Robert Caro’s, The Passage of Power: The Years of Lyndon Johnson, and I just finished the section on the Cuban Missile Crisis. There are eerie similarities between those times and these. In 1962 the crisis was averted because President Kennedy, against the advice of his Cabinet and military advisers, decided on a blockade of the island rather than a raid to take out the missile sites. Will cool heads prevail in Korea? In 1962 we had reason to believe there was some collective intelligence on both sides. I don’t have faith that the same thing is true in the case of NK. I want cool heads to prevail. I don’t think a pre-emptive strike by America or SK is in the cards, but the little guy with the bad haircut might just subscribe to Wolfowitz’s failed theory of pre-emptive war that gave us 10 years of war in Iraq. But, this isn’t Iraq; this little crackpot is threatening global nuclear war – the ultimate Black Swan – a high-profile, hard-to-predict, and rare event that is beyond the realm of normal expectations in history, science, finance, and technology. 9/11 was a Black Swan event and 9/11 would look like child’s play compared to a nuclear attack on SK, Japan, or the US.

I’m not changing my route or airline. So, on this beautiful Easter Sunday I am keeping my faith in the planet’s survival. This blog began as Surviving Seattle but today it might be more appropriate to name it simply Survival.

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What’s wrong with Americans? 30,000 people in America are killed by guns each year. Why would any thoughtful legislator or citizen looking at these numbers buy the argument that background checks impose an undue burden on an individual wishing to exercise his 2nd Amendment right to bear arms? It’s preposterous.

If I had my way I would repeal the 2nd Amendment and put in place rules and regulations based on a European model that provides for reasonable gun ownership rights but also provides limits that help protect the rest of us. Not realistic? What is it about the 2nd Amendment guarantees that are so inviolable in the 21st century? Owning a gun so you can shoot the intruder that invades your home is a fantasy perpetrated by gun manufacturers and a bunch of fringe militants. You’re more likely to shoot the paperboy, your neighbor, or your own children than quick draw to drop the intruder. And, the idea that your AR-15 is going to protect you from over-reaching government agents trying to deprive you of your rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is based on an 18th century fear of government whose time is two centuries past its due date. If George Orwell’s world does come to pass the government will take that AR-15 and put it where the sun don’t shine. Get over it.

Am I angry? You bet I am; but I’m developing a cautious optimism because I’m part of a group in Seattle that is working for reasonable controls on gun ownership in Washington State. No, we don’t advocate repealing the 2nd Amendment. The 2nd Amendment is here to stay, but the Washington Alliance for Gun Responsibility is a group of civic leaders, members of the Seattle City Council, state legislators, the District Attorney, concerned citizens, non-profits, and business leaders who have credibility and clout. The campaign is underwritten by Nick Hanauer, one of the original investors in Amazon and the founder of aQuantive which he reportedly sold to Microsoft for $6 billion. The campaign in Washington has deep pockets.

What is different about this group and its campaign to establish reasonable controls is that it has a long horizon. There is no expectation that there will be low hanging fruit and early successes. We are looking for dialogue and a new way to talk about gun ownership. It will not be a frontal assault or demonize the NRA, although it is clear that the NRA lobbying effort has many legislators cowed. I don’t understand it; according to a US News and World Report survey 89% of all Americans and 75% of all NRA members support universal background checks for gun sales. Doesn’t the NRA listen to its membership? Or do the gun manufacturers and their money have a louder voice?

The Newtown/Sandy Hook Elementary School murders have kept gun control in the headlines. The NRA is on the defensive but has taken an offensive stance (in both senses of the word). Wayne LaPierre of the NRA believes the answer to gun violence is more guns. Does anyone really believe that more guns will protect us and our kids?

What might prove interesting over time is whether the NRA has the resources to fight this battle in every state as well as at the Federal level. It has deep pockets and a well oiled network of support, but whether they can fight the battle on all fronts at the same time is questionable. If concerned citizen groups like Washington Alliance for Gun Responsibility match or outspend the NRA perhaps it will drain the NRA coffers as the fight drags on. The Washington legislature failed to pass the gun legislation prepared for the 2013 session, but the battle at the state level has just begun. We’ll be back next year with more and better bills and more horsepower.

Thomas Frank has a good article called Blood Sport in the current (March) issue of Harper’s. He takes aim at the feckless LaPierre but also levels his guns at Quentin Tarantino and Hollywood’s culture of violence. I thought the article was convincing but, in the interest of full disclosure, I can’t stand the smug, self-important, violence-besotted Tarantino or his movies.

Tarantino is not to blame for Newtown, but his disconnected, thoughtless, gratuitous violence reminds me of Paul Wolfowitz, Richard Perle, and Dick Cheney, the draft dodging trio whose theories about pre-emptive war resulted in the deaths of 4428 US servicemen and women. Tarantino and the Neo-con warlords love the toys of war but never have to get their hands dirty playing with them. They’re like fantasy footballers – unfortunately 4488 US servicemen died and 32,021 were wounded testing their theory.

Think about this: the Iraq war stats are over a 10 year period but nearly the same combined total (30,000) die from guns in the US every single year. Yoko Ono recently tweeted this astounding fact: since John Lennon’s murder in 1980 more than one million (1,057,000) Americans have lost their lives to guns. Compare that to 418,500 US servicemen killed in World War II. What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we control this carnage? Why can’t we think rationally about it?

Americans are good people. We’re better than our record of 30,000 gun deaths a year. We have reasonable restrictions on the other constitutional freedoms of speech, free exercise of religion, peaceable assembly, press, and the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances. Let’s pull together to enact a reasonable set of laws governing the purchase and ownership of guns in America. I’m on-board. I hope my friends will join me in the fight. And it will be a fight – unfortunately.

PS: The title of this blog is Surviving Seattle and the gun control issue is truly about survival. We can save lives and improve our prospects of survival by enacting reasonable, thoughtful legislation. Even though we are still in Saigon we haven’t forgotten our responsibilities at home.

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